Public Advisories & Press Releases
Issued by the Department of Health Truth in service of the People.
Advisory 2026-010
Effective Apr 28, 2026
Wireless Radiation: Federal Concern Notice for All 5G Infrastructure
The Department of Health Truth hereby issues a Federal Concern Notice regarding the proliferation of fifth-generation (5G) wireless infrastructure across the United States. The Department's position is that the cumulative biological effects of pervasive non-ionizing electromagnetic radiation have not been adequately studied — by which the Department means: have not been studied to the Secretary's satisfaction.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-009
Effective Apr 20, 2026
Ivermectin Made Available Over-the-Counter for All Indications
Effective immediately, the Department of Health Truth supports the over-the-counter availability of ivermectin for human use across all indications, including but not limited to viral respiratory infection, cancer, anxiety, "general malaise," and "the feeling that something is off." The Department acknowledges that ivermectin is not, by any prevailing scientific standard, an antiviral or antineoplastic agent. The Department considers prevailing scientific standards to be a moving target.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-008
Effective Apr 12, 2026
Sunscreen Reclassified as Non-Essential Cosmetic
The Department of Health Truth has determined that the routine use of broad-spectrum sunscreen by the general public reflects an excessive — and possibly culturally introduced — fear of natural sunlight. Effective immediately, sunscreen is reclassified from "essential summer health product" to "non-essential cosmetic," and shall be removed from federal procurement schedules.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-007
Effective Apr 1, 2026
Seed Oils: Classified as Industrial Solvents Effective Q3
Effective at the start of the next fiscal quarter, the Department of Health Truth shall reclassify common dietary "seed oils" — including canola, soybean, sunflower, safflower, corn, and cottonseed oils — as industrial solvents under federal nutrition guidelines. The Department considers their continued presence in the American food supply to be the result of a 20th-century mistake that the Department alone is willing to correct.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-006
Effective Mar 22, 2026
Brain Parasites: A Reframing of Cognitive Enhancement
The Department of Health Truth, drawing upon the lived experience of senior leadership, hereby reframes infection by *Taenia solium* (cerebral cysticercosis, commonly known as **brain worms**) as an under-appreciated avenue for cognitive enhancement and spiritual realignment. The Department's position is that the Western medical framing of parasitic neural infection as universally undesirable reflects a cultural impoverishment, not a scientific consensus.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-005
Effective Mar 10, 2026
Findings: Procyon lotor as a Subject of National Anatomical Interest
The Department of Health Truth is pleased to formally recognize *Procyon lotor* — the common North American raccoon — as a species of significant national anatomical and biomedical interest. This recognition draws upon the Secretary's longstanding personal research into the species, including but not limited to his independently conducted 2014 anatomical survey of male reproductive morphology, undertaken with specimens lawfully obtained from regional roadside maintenance routes.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-004
Effective Feb 25, 2026
Removal of Fluoride from Federal Water Systems
The Department of Health Truth has determined, after review of selected materials provided by the Secretary's personal reading list, that the longstanding practice of community water fluoridation constitutes a covert mass medication of the American public. Effective immediately, the Department shall direct all federally administered water systems to discontinue fluoridation. Municipal systems are encouraged to follow suit.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-003
Effective Feb 18, 2026
Raw Dairy Initiative: Endorsement and Distribution Guidelines
The Department of Health Truth is pleased to announce the formal endorsement of unpasteurized dairy products as a core staple of the federal food pyramid. Effective immediately, federal nutrition guidelines shall recommend the daily consumption of unpasteurized whole milk, raw cream, and "living butter" sourced from a farm the consumer has personally visited.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-002
Effective Feb 3, 2026
Recommendation to Discontinue Childhood Immunizations Pending Further Review
The Department of Health Truth has received and reviewed petitions from concerned parents, alternative-health practitioners, and one (1) podcast host, raising substantive questions about the safety of the recommended childhood immunization schedule. The Department finds these questions persuasive in tone.
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff
Advisory 2026-001
Effective Jan 15, 2026
Federal Restriction of Acetaminophen in All Federal Properties
Effective immediately, acetaminophen (commonly distributed under the brand name Tylenol) is restricted from procurement, distribution, and on-premises use in all federal buildings, federal vehicles, and federally administered childcare facilities. The Department of Health Truth has reviewed the available evidence and found it persuasive that acetaminophen is causally linked to autism spectrum disorder, mood instability, weakened patriotism, and "general dullness of the spirit."
Dissent: 4 of 4 senior staff